Zen Executive Newsletter

Not Everything Is Yours to Carry: A Better Way to Lead Through Change

How mindful leaders navigate pressure, delegate with trust, and know when to ask for help.

September 30, 2026

There is a phrase I hear often from the leaders and high-achieving professionals I work with.

“I’ve got it.” 

I know it well because I say it too.

When you are capable, responsible, and accustomed to getting things done, people learn they can count on you. You solve problems. You make decisions. You step in when something needs attention.

Those are strengths.

But there is a subtle shift that can happen when we aren't paying attention.

“I can handle it” becomes “I need to handle it.” 

And before we know it, we are carrying far more than the responsibilities that actually require us.

That matters because today's leaders are already navigating an enormous amount of noise. Microsoft's workplace research found that 52% of leaders described their work as chaotic and fragmented. Deloitte has similarly found that managers are increasingly serving as organizational “catch-alls,” with nearly 40% of their time consumed by firefighting and administrative work.

In an environment of rapid change, higher expectations, AI, reorganizations, uncertainty, and constant decision-making, the question can't always be:

“How can I handle more?” 

Sometimes a better question is:

“What is actually mine to carry?”

Delegation Is About More Than Handing Off the Work

I recently shared some thoughts about this on LinkedIn, and the conversation that followed gave me even more to think about.

Someone made a great distinction about delegation.

Sometimes the difficulty isn't that we don't trust another person to get the job done.

We don't trust the route they're going to take to get there. 

Oh, that's a good one.

You delegate something, but then find yourself checking in, correcting, suggesting, tweaking, or quietly thinking, That's not how I would do it. 

Sound familiar? 

Leadership requires trust. And sometimes trust means allowing another capable person to approach something differently than you would.

You can still set expectations. You can still be accountable for the larger vision. You can still step in when leadership is truly needed.

But there is a difference between holding the vision and holding every detail.

Delegating and Asking for Help Are Not the Same Thing

Another person in that conversation brought up an equally important point.

Leaders can become very good at delegating and still have a difficult time asking for help themselves. 

I understand this one personally.

Asking for help has never been particularly easy for me. I'm a get-it-done girl. I like solving problems, moving things forward, and yes, handling a lot.

But there are times when that strength can become an automatic response.

I'll take care of it. 

I'll figure it out. 

I've got it. 

Sometimes we don't even stop long enough to ask ourselves what we actually need.

Asking for help isn't the same as handing someone a task. It requires us to invite someone in.

That might mean asking a colleague for perspective. Allowing a team member to take greater ownership. Admitting that you don't have the answer yet. Or simply saying, “I could use some help with this.” 

There is strength in that too.

Care Without Carrying

Then another beautiful insight emerged from the conversation:

I can care about someone without carrying something for them. 

This is particularly important in leadership.

When we care about our people and the outcome, our instinct may be to jump in and fix, solve, rescue, or protect.

But sometimes the most supportive thing we can do is create enough space for someone else to step forward.

Let them make the decision. Let them solve the problem. Let them stretch. And yes, sometimes let them struggle a little.

Because when we continually carry what belongs to someone else, we may unintentionally take away an opportunity for that person to discover what they are capable of.

Care without carrying. 

That's a practice.

The Pause Is a Leadership Skill

Recently, during a leadership development program for a corporate audience, I was talking about what leaders need when they're navigating uncertainty and rapid change.

We talked about resilience, emotional intelligence, adaptability, clarity, and the ability to remain intentional rather than simply reacting to what's happening around us. These are exactly the capabilities I have long connected to mindful leadership.

But knowing we should respond rather than react is one thing.

Knowing how to do it in the middle of a difficult meeting, an unexpected change, or a decision that needs to be made now is another.

One practical tool I teach is the STOP Technique:

Stop. Take a breath. Observe. Purposefully proceed. 

It doesn't require a meditation cushion or twenty quiet minutes.

It might take only a few breaths.

The purpose is to interrupt the automatic reaction long enough to notice what is happening in your thoughts, emotions, and body and then ask: How do I want to respond to this? What actually needs my attention right now?

The power lies in the pause. 

Because that small space is often where a leader can recognize:

I'm taking this back because they're doing it differently than I would. 

I'm about to say yes to something that isn't actually mine. 

I'm reacting to the pressure rather than responding to the situation. 

I need support here. 

That awareness changes what happens next.

When Change Starts Shaking Your Confidence

There is another layer to this that I see frequently in my work.

Even incredibly capable executives can begin second-guessing themselves when the environment around them changes.

A reorganization happens. A new role brings unfamiliar expectations. AI changes how work gets done. A company is growing or restructuring. A leadership team is navigating uncertainty. Decisions that once felt straightforward suddenly carry more weight.

The leader hasn't suddenly become less capable.

But their confidence can get shaken.

They may overthink decisions, hold onto more, have difficulty switching off, become more reactive, or feel responsible for keeping everything and everyone moving.

This is the pain point my Pathway to Inner Peace® Featuring the 4R Method® was designed to address.

It combines mindfulness, neuroscience, intentional awareness, and practical tools to help leaders recognize the internal patterns operating underneath the pressure, regulate their response, reconnect with their own inner authority, and rebuild the self-trust needed to move forward with greater clarity and confidence.

Because before we can confidently navigate what comes next, we have to trust the person making those decisions.

What This Looks Like on Monday Morning

The next time you feel yourself automatically stepping in, fixing, taking over, or saying “I've got it,” pause before you do.

Ask yourself:

• What is actually mine to carry here? 
• Am I stepping in because I'm needed, or because I would do it differently? 
• Do I need to delegate, ask for help, or allow someone else to own this? 

You may still decide to handle it.

The difference is that now it's a choice, not an automatic response.

And that is what mindful leadership looks like in practice.

The strongest leader in the room isn't necessarily the person carrying the most.

Sometimes it's the person who can clearly see what requires their leadership, what belongs to someone else, and when they themselves need support.

You can care without carrying everything.

You can trust without micromanaging.

You can hold the vision without holding every detail.

And you can navigate pressure and change without losing yourself in the process.

Perhaps that's part of becoming a Zen Executive.

Navigating Change Starts From Within

If you are an executive navigating significant change, or you're responsible for a leadership team facing uncertainty, rapid growth, organizational change, increased pressure, or shifting expectations, this is the work I do every day.

Through Executive Coaching, I work one-on-one with leaders who are highly capable but finding themselves overwhelmed, second-guessing decisions, or struggling to trust themselves in a changing environment. My work helps them strengthen resilience, reduce stress, regain clarity, and confidently navigate what comes next. That focus is central to how I describe my work today.

Explore Executive Coaching

Through my Corporate Leadership & Wellness Programs, I work with organizations and leadership teams to bring these skills into the workplace, giving people practical tools they can use when the pressure is actually happening, not just when everything is calm.

Explore Corporate Programs

Because change isn't slowing down.

The goal isn't to carry more of it.

It's to become more intentional about how you navigate it.